Of Two Worlds
September 01 2010 12:00 AM ET
I'm cured! Two weeks ago I went to a special 'healing service' at a spiritual event held downtown; a week later I went to see my doctor ' and guess what. I was healed! No more disease! It's a miracle! I was cleaned by the blood of Jesus, saved by the holy lamb, and made new by the blessing of the divine spirit. I am no longer coinfected. My hepatitis C is gone. Hallelujah!
The truth is, I am a Jesus freak and a hard-core crazy Christian. Spirituality and faith are at the center of pretty much everything I do, and because of that, I tend to see the world through a haze of magical reality. So it should come as no surprise that I attribute the remarkable change in diagnosis to a miraculous gift from God. As far as I'm concerned, prayer changes everything.
The other truth is that many of you know I have also been on a rigorous treatment of weekly interferon injections and twice-daily doses of ribavirin for the past year that left me physically and emotionally deficit. I suffered a difficult year of additional medications, doctor visits, and literal headaches just for a 16% to 20% chance that this highly ineffective treatment would work. But it did! Some would say that I am one of the lucky ones. And I would agree.
Science is parenthetical and faith is absolute ' or vice versa, depending on how you feel about one or the other. But in my opinion, both are equally necessary. I stand firmly in both worlds. A course of action is just as important as a course in miracles. Personal, emotional, and spiritual care is not something to be underestimated. When the chips are down, the struggle is difficult, and the outcome is unsure, sometimes all you have is the intangible to hold onto. Just how music can change your mood and looking at the ocean can make everything else fall away, so too can prayer change the laws of physics. But don't get crazy! Science has its place too.
At this healing event I went to (think fundamental charismatic Christians filled with the Holy Ghost, speaking in tongues, falling out, and praising God in the hope that they would be healed ' and yes, I was one of them) at one point people were asked to go up and give their 'testimony,' and this lady went onstage to speak. I guess I should add that earlier the preacher had asked us to commit $900 each to 'activate' this healing because 'all blessing requires an act of faith.' (I ignored that part.) So the lady said something like, 'I have [insert awful debilitating disease here], and my doctor says that I need to have this very expensive [insert awful debilitating treatment], but I can feel the spirit in this room, and I know God will heal me. So as an act of faith, I'm going to give the money that I have been saving for treatment to activate this blessing.'
OK, now. I have as much faith as the next person. I believe that everybody has a right to her or his own metaphysical path ' or lack thereof. I believe that whatever gets you through the day and makes your journey easier is the best thing for the situation. But I'm still going to take my pill! One doesn't have to supersede the other. Take your fucking pill, and then pray about it! It worked for me.
Saucier is a writer, blogger, and performance artist based in Los Angeles.