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Scroll To Top![13 Misconceptions about BDSM](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![1. Kink always involves butt sex or oral sex.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![2. You can’t engage in kink without ever being the recipient of pain.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![3. You must do what a dominant tells you.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![4. Dominance and submission is pre-defined by being a top or bottom.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![5. Kink needs to be complicated.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![6. Being submissive means you can’t be assertive.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![7. Kink is about the action not discussion.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![8. BDSM is never lighthearted.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![9. All dominants and submissives want to be treated the same.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![10. Kinksters have something wrong in their heads.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![11. You have to live the lifestyle to be a kinkster.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![12. You’re either dominant or you’re submissive.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
![13. BDSM happens on the fly.](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 1000 750'%3E%3C/svg%3E)
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13 Misconceptions about BDSM
In the 1980s, BDSM was adopted by many gay men who were afraid of the HIV epidemic as a way to play safely when no one was yet aware what the virus actually was. Back then, it was seen as a safe way to enjoy other men intensely while creating a bond between both partners — it was a substitute for anal sex.
Depending on how you do it, BDSM can limit the amount of direct physical contact from one person to another. While fears of spreading "the gay cancer" grew, some men turned to BDSM, which is why it is such an ingrained part of our community today.
Plus turned to @BetaBreeder, author of The Gay Boy Bible on Tumblr. He's a gay man in his 30s exploring his dominance, and other men's submission. If you want to ask your own questions about BDSM, shoot him an email at Bdsmadvicealex@gmaill.com. For now, click through the next slides to hear what he had to say.