
Treatment GuideJust DiagnosedSex & DatingAfrican AmericanStigmaAsk the HIV DocPrEP En EspañolNewsVoicesPrint IssueVideoOut 100
CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2025 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Scroll To Top
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
I'm tired of dating idiots, and it seems my dating pool is full of them. Beautiful 6-foot-2, blue-eyed idiots with perfect abs, flawless faces, and the most charming personalities around. I seem to find them everywhere; it's like there is something in the air. They ask for my number, give me theirs, or simply capture me with conversation. And before you know it, each one has me fooled, and I'm thinking that he could be the one. We have coffee dates that go perfectly and talk for hours on the phone. We share interests, histories, and kisses. And my heart begins to hope. But it's usually around the third date that I realize that the person I'm seeing is just another gorgeous idiot with a great career and the cutest little crooked smile--a complete idiot who's never heard of something called HIV. I chose my virus. I picked it from a bevy of beautiful bodies, and I never questioned the circumstance of my contagion. I knew what it was and how to get it, yet I got it anyway. I hated condoms, craved dirty needles, and loved men with no names. So I was not surprised on a certain day when my test results read POSITIVE. I was not a 10-year-old virgin who had contracted HIV from a botched blood transfusion. I didn't get it from a cheating spouse or from being gang-raped in a jail. If there is blame, it goes on me, because ignorance doesn't count. We've had 25 years with this disease--more than two decades of AIDS, of education and outreach, of red ribbons and star-studded galas, of ACT UP and 'Fight AIDS,' of hundreds upon hundreds of deaths. How the hell do you not know that people like me exist! It's the age of Google, for God's sake! But still, I sit in awe as their eyes glaze over, their breathing changes, and they see it for the first time. A person with AIDS is standing before them, and their mind can't quite register it. Did they really think that we weren't out there, sitting next to them on the bus or lying gently beside them in bed? Of course, there are some smart ones. I've even loved one or two. But still, every time I'm about to disclose, I wonder if I'm dining with an idiot. If I'll have to go into my mommy voice and let them know it's safe to touch me and that the virus isn't airborne. If I'll have to put on my educator hat and teach the five fluids of transmission--Come on, little boys and girls, repeat after me: blood, semen, precome, vaginal secretions, and breast milk--as my eyes roll back in my head. _Now, I know I have a responsibility to save the world, even if it's one person at a time. I know that God loves good deeds that require patience and fortitude, and I'm sure that after surviving for seven years it's the least that I can do. But, you know, it wouldn't kill these people to open a book once in a while. Maybe turn on the TV, glance at a magazine, or--God forbid!--go online and try to learn something on their own so that the next time a person has the grace to share his or her status with them, they could have the wherewithal not to be a total idiot. Saucier is a writer, blogger, and performance artist based in Los Angeles. Find his blog at MySpace.com/BeautyInMyEyes.
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Lexi Love comes out as HIV+ after Trump deletes federal resources
January 23 2025 11:23 AM
Ricky Martin delivers showstopping performance for 2024 World AIDS Day
December 05 2024 12:08 PM
Trump's orders prompt CDC to erase HIV resources
January 31 2025 5:29 PM
California confirms first case of even more deadly mpox strain
November 18 2024 3:02 PM
This long-term HIV survivor says testosterone therapy helped save his life.
December 16 2024 8:00 PM
Plus: Featured Video
Latest Stories
Grindr is reminding us why jockstraps are so sexy and iconic
May 02 2025 5:36 PM
HRC holds 'die-in' to protest Trump health care cuts
April 28 2025 2:11 PM
Two right-wing Supreme Court justices signal they may uphold access to PrEP and more
April 21 2025 4:10 PM
500,000 Children at Risk: PEPFAR Funding Crisis
April 08 2025 3:51 PM
Broadway's best raise over $1 million for LGBTQ+ and HIV causes
April 03 2025 7:15 PM
The Talk Season 5 premieres this spring with HIV guidance for the newly diagnosed
March 26 2025 1:00 PM
Discover the power of Wellness in your life
March 26 2025 12:41 PM
Season 4 of The Switch on resilience & radical self-love returns this spring
March 26 2025 12:20 PM
Jess King is here to help you live your happiest, healthiest life yet
March 24 2025 4:35 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Trump admin moves to end federal HIV prevention programs
March 18 2025 6:10 PM
Gerald Garth is keeping people of color happy and healthy through trying times
March 11 2025 3:38 PM
Celebrating Black History Month with our annual African American issue
February 01 2025 3:28 PM
Tyler TerMeer vows to continue to fight for health care for all
January 28 2025 3:00 PM
Plus nominated for 2025 GLAAD Media Award
January 22 2025 12:42 PM
A camp for HIV-positive kids is for sale. Here's why its founder is celebrating
January 02 2025 12:21 PM
'RuPaul's Drag Race' star Trinity K Bonet quietly comes out trans
December 15 2024 6:27 PM
AIDS Memorial Quilt displayed at White House for the first time
December 02 2024 1:21 PM
Decades of progress, uniting to fight HIV/AIDS
December 01 2024 12:30 PM
Hollywood must do better on HIV representation
December 01 2024 9:00 AM
Climate change is disrupting access to HIV treatment
November 25 2024 11:05 AM