Treatment GuideJust DiagnosedSex & DatingAfrican AmericanStigmaAsk the HIV DocPrEP En EspañolNewsVoicesPrint IssueVideoOut 100
CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
I used to work at a transitional housing facility for people living with HIV. But just 10 years prior to my arrival, it operated as a hospice where people went to die with dignity. At the time, as is the case with any terminal condition, HIV disease obviously assumed prominence, making other issues -- like mental illness or substance abuse -- recede to the background. While these conditions were certainly a part of each resident's story, they were nearly irrelevant in contrast to the very real life-and-death reality of AIDS. Nearly to a person, the final cause of death for hospice residents was AIDS-related. This is no longer the case today, at least in Western industrialized nations, where nearly all HIVers have access -- one way or another -- to lifesaving medications. As an HIV specialist recently told me, more and more people appear to be dying of factors unrelated to HIV, like smoking, alcohol and drug use, poor diet, or lack of exercise. In other words, as AIDS-related deaths have abated, other issues -- those that once seemed unimportant by contrast -- have become more pressing. This fact has been an underpinning of my column from the beginning. I have always said that while HIV is ever-present in my life, it is not my only issue. Yes, I can become frantic when faced with a cold or with flu-like symptoms, to be sure. And yes, like the rest of us, I experience medication fatigue. But anti-HIV meds represent only half of the medications I take! I have no need for an HIV support group, although admittedly I am fortunate as a gay man to have a number of HIV-positive friends in a large urban center with a large HIVer population. However, I do need support for other things, predominantly substance abuse issues and depression. In other words, my life mirrors the dynamic being played out at my former employer, where there are moments when HIV is the most important issue and other moments when it is not. Lately I have been in a space where HIV seems far less significant than my depression. And what makes depression baffling, especially for us HIVers, is that its symptoms -- lethargy, sleeping too much, appetite fluctuations -- mimic those of HIV itself. Why am I, a therapist, mentioning my depression in a national publication? In part because I think depression is woefully underdiagnosed and undertreated in our community. And life becomes so much more livable once the dark and oppressive cloud of depression is lifted. What once felt overwhelming becomes manageable. What once brought despair now brings a sense of possibility -- and of hope. I also write about this because the purpose of my column is to chronicle my experiences living with HIV, to essentially share my life. When I first started the column, I was tentative about revealing the more intimate details of my life, given that I am a therapist. However, in so doing, I was doing you -- the readers -- a disservice. The pieces were largely intellectual and abstract. And when attempting to connect with other HIVers, the last thing any of us need is abstraction. So here's my story, with all the intimate details. And here's hoping that like me, you'll address the other aspects of your lives beyond your HIV -- including depression, if that's an issue for you -- so that you can live a full and happy life. Fransen is a licensed clinical social worker who is in private therapy practice in Chicago. He welcomes feedback at stillpoint4003@yahoo.com.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Diets that mimic fasting reverse aging: study
March 07 2024 5:28 PM
The Most Amazing HIV Allies & Advocates of 2023
November 03 2023 12:51 PM
PrEP without a prescription now a reality in California
February 06 2024 8:37 PM
This OnlyFans Star Is Trying to Raise $100K to Fight HIV
December 26 2023 3:05 PM
The naked Black body takes center stage in this HIV campaign
January 03 2024 1:07 PM
Mr. Gay World wants to make sure you're OK
January 02 2024 4:56 PM
The First Person Cured of AIDS Gets His Due
December 19 2023 1:12 AM
HIV Advocate, Journalist Josh Kruger Murdered in His Home
October 06 2023 3:19 PM
35 Years of World AIDS Day
December 01 2023 8:35 AM
Plus: Featured Video
Latest Stories
Prohibition Wellness & revolutionizing self-care for all
March 22 2024 1:19 PM
8 dating tips for gay men from a gay psychotherapist
March 21 2024 2:50 PM
Unleash your fiery spirit with The Pride Store’s Aries gift guide
March 21 2024 2:08 PM
Crafting diversity and inclusivity in beauty with Fashion Foundry
March 20 2024 5:27 PM
Vibrant locks rain or shine with The Pride Store's top haircare essentials
March 19 2024 2:13 PM
At risk for syphilis or chlamydia? There’s a PEP for that
March 19 2024 12:04 PM
'Drag Race' star Q shares she's living with HIV
March 18 2024 3:08 PM
Empowering women with Nashelle Jewelry this Women's History Month
March 13 2024 3:05 PM
Scarlet fever: exploring our fascination with blood
March 13 2024 1:47 PM
Bloom in your skin with The Pride Store’s skincare essentials
March 12 2024 4:31 PM
Nex Benedict’s tragic death further proves that Oklahoma is not OK
March 12 2024 2:57 PM
Mr. Gay World's Plus cover story: behind the scenes
March 08 2024 4:47 PM
HIV+ man banned from jail work program gets last laugh
March 07 2024 4:14 PM
The Werkroom's artistic rebellion transforms pop culture icons into queer fantasies
March 07 2024 2:23 PM
Get your spring bling on with The Pride Store’s jewelry picks
March 05 2024 4:43 PM
Is this the future of PrEP?
March 01 2024 5:54 PM
Leap (Day) into luxury with The Pride Store's flash promotion!
February 28 2024 2:15 PM
Top 10 gifts that bind to celebrate your chosen family
February 28 2024 11:58 AM
The FDA Says This Group Can Now Use Biktarvy Safely
February 27 2024 5:52 PM