
Treatment GuideJust DiagnosedSex & DatingAfrican AmericanStigmaAsk the HIV DocPrEP En EspañolNewsVoicesPrint IssueVideoOut 100
CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2025 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
Has the beginning of a new year got you thinking about how you spent the past one? A client I'll call Larry has been on disability for a few years, and he's finding the days passing all too slowly. "I get up and read the paper, I make coffee, read the paper again, and I think about what to have for lunch. Each day fades into the next," he says. Another client, who I'll call Janelle, complains about the opposite problem. "I'm overcommitted," she complains, "and it's stressing me out. I can't make the day any longer, and so I'm not taking care of myself." Now, I suspect that if Larry and Janelle were in the same room, each might look at the other with envy. Temporarily, at least. Then they'd both realize that overwork and boredom can be two sides of the same coin. Whether you're sprinting or crawling, being stuck on a treadmill is still being stuck. Here's how to get moving again: Take a look at your "big five" life priorities. Thought about what's important in life lately? Think immediate and long-term. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Keep stress to a minimum. Create new relationships. Get a better job. Challenge your mind and creativity. Help people you care about. Serve your community. Enhance your spiritual growth. Ask yourself, How am I building my "big five" into my daily life? If you haven't thought about this in a while, you might be on to the first clue as to why you aren't satisfied with how you're spending your time. One helpful -- and painful -- way to answer this question is to make a list of how you spend your time each day. Do this for a week. And then go back through and see how your "big five" are reflected in what you do with your time. Where are you letting yourself down? Take a hard look at familiar patterns. Human beings have a tendency to hold on to patterns of overcommitment and chaos -- or lack of direction and boredom -- because, while these patterns are unsatisfactory, they are also familiar. Kind of like hitting your head against a wall over and over. Change means uncertainty and that can be uncomfortable. Take a deep breath and chant: "Something's gotta give." New Year's resolution: Tiptoe outside your comfort zone. Take another look at your "big five" and start introducing some of what's missing in your life -- quiet time, new people, and activities you might actually enjoy. Don't be afraid to give yourself a push by scheduling what's new and challenging ahead of time. This will keep you from talking yourself out of it when those old habits start whining for attention. Warning: A little self-discipline is required. Yes, I know you don't want to schedule anything else. But whether you are always running from one commitment to the next or feeling like each day is slower than the one before, try building in something a block of time each day that you can dedicate to your self-development. Make 2010 the year to give yourself a push and step off the treadmill and into your life! McClain is a licensed counselor in New York City with a specialty in coping with chronic and life-threatening health conditions. His books include The Complete Idiot's Guide to Breaking Bad Habits and Empowering Your Life With Joy, and he is a frequent contributor to health-related publications.
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Why activist Raif Derrazi thinks his HIV diagnosis is a gift
September 17 2024 12:00 PM
Out100 Honoree Tony Valenzuela thanks queer and trans communities for support in his HIV journey
September 18 2024 12:00 PM
How fitness coach Tyriek Taylor reclaims his power from HIV with self-commitment
September 19 2024 12:00 PM
Creator and host Karl Schmid fights HIV stigma with knowledge
September 12 2024 12:03 PM
Ricky Martin delivers showstopping performance for 2024 World AIDS Day
December 05 2024 12:08 PM
California confirms first case of even more deadly mpox strain
November 18 2024 3:02 PM
Eureka is taking a break from competing on 'Drag Race' following 'CVTW' elimination
August 20 2024 12:21 PM
Plus: Featured Video
Latest Stories
Celebrating Black History Month with our annual African American issue
February 01 2025 3:28 PM
Trump's orders prompt CDC to erase HIV resources
January 31 2025 5:29 PM
SFAF's Dr. Tyler TerMeer says he'll continue to fight for health care for all
January 28 2025 3:00 PM
Lexi Love goes public with HIV status after Trump wipes resources from federal website
January 23 2025 11:23 AM
Plus nominated for 2025 GLAAD Media Award alongside industry giants like Vogue, People, and Variety
January 22 2025 12:42 PM
A camp for HIV-positive kids is for sale. Here's why its founder is celebrating
January 02 2025 12:21 PM
This long-term HIV survivor says testosterone therapy helped save his life.
December 16 2024 8:00 PM
'RuPaul's Drag Race' star Trinity K Bonet quietly comes out trans
December 15 2024 6:27 PM
AIDS Memorial Quilt displayed at White House for the first time
December 02 2024 1:21 PM
Decades of progress, uniting to fight HIV/AIDS
December 01 2024 12:30 PM
Hollywood must do better on HIV representation
December 01 2024 9:00 AM
Climate change is disrupting access to HIV treatment
November 25 2024 11:05 AM
Post-election blues? Some advice from mental health experts
November 08 2024 12:36 PM
Check out our 2024 year-end issue!
October 28 2024 2:08 PM
Meet our Health Hero of the Year, Armonté Butler
October 21 2024 12:53 PM
AIDS/LifeCycle is ending after more than 30 years
October 17 2024 12:40 PM
Twice-yearly injectable lenacapavir, an HIV-prevention drug, reduces risk by 96%
October 15 2024 5:03 PM
Kentucky bans conversion therapy for youth as Gov. Andy Beshear signs 'monumental' order
September 18 2024 11:13 AM
Study finds use of puberty blockers safe and reversible, countering anti-trans accusations
September 11 2024 1:11 PM
Latinx health tips / Consejos de salud para latinos (in English & en espanol)
September 10 2024 4:29 PM