Having a support system can be a crucial aspect of anyone’s HIV treatment journey. That’s why surrounding yourself with community and chosen family is so important, especially after receiving an initial diagnosis. In this episode of The Talk, advocates shared their experiences with finding their people to help them through their HIV journey.
“It is on us to make sure that, yes, we are happy and healthy, but it’s also on us to make sure we are connected in community in a way that we are able to live and thrive,” Tony Morrison, a media strategist and HIV advocate, says.
Before you begin to find your people, however, you have to go through the transition of learning how to best care for yourself, Ivy Kwan Arce, an artist and HIV activist, says. Only then can you grow your support network with people you trust.
“I think you begin through a long period where you have to learn how to take care of yourself and what that means,” she says. “You have to just focus on yourself. Figuring out whether you have the right doctor or you need more advocates. Once you feel comfortable, you just have to expand that circle of people that make you feel good, people that you trust, one at a time.”
If in-person community doesn’t feel like a feasible option for you, especially if you live somewhere that doesn’t have a robust LGBTQ+ center, looking for online HIV groups can be a helpful place to start.
“The internet can be your friend,” says dancer and activist DéShaun Armbrister. "You can find some type of meetup group — it doesn’t have to be a big organization, especially depending on where you are. It might not be as cosmopolitan, definitely try to search for online community, or if you can find little types of meetups like a book club or something of that nature where you can start to build community, those are excellent ways to find your people, or your tribe, so to speak.”
Jose Barrientos, a social worker and HIV advocate, says that even if your initial support groups aren’t perfect, it’s important to put yourself out there to find out.
“There are many support groups available, and you’ll build relationships that way,” he says. “Now, do I think that’ll be perfect? Who knows. You gotta try right? Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. Be strong, be courageous. Those who tell you 'I love you' more frequent than they don’t — you’ll know that’s your tribe. Those are the people that really care for you.”
