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Sex & Dating

Yes, Plenty of Guys Want to Have Sex With You

Yes, Plenty of Guys Want to Have Sex With You

HIV Negative Lovers Are Still Into You

The only thing holding you back when you're HIV-positive and dating is yourself.

Many of HIV's limitations are limitations that we impose on ourselves. The pool of available dating material, for instance, doesn't have to be limited to only other HIV-positive partners. If you're HIV-positive, sure, some  people will be frightened away by HIV, but I've found that there are manifold HIV negative people out there willing to overlook your HIV status.

Yes, there are a myriad of handy dating sites and apps devoted to meeting positive single adults—but why sell yourself short and ignore all of the HIV negative prospects? The chemistry that is the driving force behind love will run its course whether or not both partners are healthy —believe me. If someone is truly into you, HIV isn't going to be a deal-breaker.

It's important to be cognizant of the realities of the disease, which are real, but a fulfilling love life still awaits you, even if you're infected with HIV. You will have bumps along the way, just like anyone else, but your dating life will probably stay alive even if you convince yourself that it's over.

If you've been recently diagnosed and are single, stop unnecessarily limiting yourself and carry on with your dating life. You will have a few extra hurdles that HIV negative men and women don't have to deal with when dating — you're going to have to disclose your status to every sexual partner you have for the rest of your life. That's a tough pill to swallow, but your dating life will continue on regardless.

In the wild depths of gay and straight single life, HIV is frequently spread by partners who are unaware they are infected with the disease. One in eight Americans with HIV is unaware of infection, in fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's about 13 percent of total HIV cases in America. These are they who have high viral loads and who are infecting others. But for the rest of us, HIV is under control and and untrasmittable.

There are sites exclusively devoted to HIV-positive singles. Positive Singles calls itself the number one STD dating site for those infected with not only HIV, but also Herpes, HPV and other illnesses. Pos Date is another popular dating connection service that is ideal for homosexual men and women. More recently, apps that are devoted to HIV-positive singles are now available as well. Hzone calls itself the number one dating app HIV singles. Presumably many more HIV-related dating services exist.

Why get in a long-term relationship? Well, married couples live longer, healthier lives according to recent research. HIV-positive individuals have even more reason to get hitched.

A serodiscordant, mixed status relationship isn't as complicated as it sounds. The infected partner will have slightly more trips to the doctor, and probably more healthcare bills. But other than that, your lives won't be that different.

Antiretroviral therapy (ART) allows serodiscordant couples to plan to conceive a baby. The U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs answers questions about whether a couple can have an HIV negative baby when one of the partners is HIV-positive. The low-tech method, the organization claims, is to use at-home artificial insemination with a syringe and ovulation timing. The high-tech method involves using intra cervical or intrauterine insemination at a fertility clinic. Sperm washing is a new high tech method where the sperm is washed, because sperm cannot be infected, only the fluid in the semen can carry the virus. PrEP, of course, can also be used to reduce the risk of transmission even when couples try to conceive a baby.

Researchers analyzed data from three international clinical studies that followed about 3000 serodiscordant couples who were sexually active without the use of condoms, and who were on antiretroviral (ART) therapy. “In all 3 studies, no HIV transmission to the uninfected partner was observed while the partner with HIV was virologically suppressed with ART,” the Pharmacy Times reported.

There doesn't have to be limitations on your sex life and dating life. Most of those boundaries can be crossed with the help of modern technology and medicine. Further down the road, you even may want to start a family. Even if your partner is HIV negative, having an HIV negative baby isn't out of the question. HIV-positive dating sites are great for those who want to emotionally protect themselves from rejection related to their HIV status, but why would you cut out all of the potential HIV-negative partners that would love you, infected with HIV or not.




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Benjamin M. Adams