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Mental Health

Feeling lost? 6 Ways to Find Your Way Back

Feeling lost? 6 Ways to Find Your Way Back


Ever feel absolutely lost? If you do, you’re in good company.

My clients often describe that feeling of being lost, and not sure where to go next. 

What about you? Maybe you’ve been chugging along just fine, doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Everybody around you, including your doctor, doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Your medications doing their work, too. Life is good, isn’t it? 

And then… what happened? You thought the road ahead looked pretty certain. All of a sudden you find yourself wandering around in the weeds! A relationship suddenly gets rocky. Somebody lets you down. Things get tense at work. An expected expense comes out of nowhere.   

You’re doing everything you need to do. But something – or someone – isn’t. And you’re not feeling like yourself. 

Let’s face it. When one aspect of your life suddenly getting out of sync can make your whole life feel like a house of cards. One card got pulled out and now the house is about to go tumbling with the next gust of wind. Another reminder that life is uncertain. 

Maybe the way is clear on what you need to do. But you have a lot of work ahead and you’re not sure if you’re up for it. Or maybe you have no idea what the problem is and, therefore, no idea what to do to fix it. 

And so, back to the same conclusion. I’m lost. 

Here’s a way to look at life. We’re all winging it. Doing what we think is the right way to get what we need and to be who we want to be for the people we care about. We hope we’ve got the right formula in place and we probably do. At least until we don’t.  

And when we don’t, we feel lost. That’s just being human.

Life teaches us that having it all together – all our ducks in a row – can be temporary. On the other hand, so can that feeling of being lost. 

Here’s how to find your way again: 

First, breathe!I  know it feel like the world is caving in on you. But take a deep breath. And then a step back. And open up your mind to what’s possible instead of what’s not possible.

Remember that a setback does not have to be a catastrophe.Your emotions may be telling you that what you are dealing with is the worst possible thing that could happen. Along with lots of scary images of worst possible outcomes. Don’t fall into catastrophic thinking. Yes, this is a setback. Maybe a basketful of setbacks. But that doesn’t mean you can’t recover. 

Think of your situation this way: You’re not lost. But you need some new direction. Who knows, this might even be an opportunity to make some positive changes. And a leap forward! 

Retrace your steps. I have a really poor sense of direction, and when I get lost, I have found that what helps is to start back to when I thought I knew my way and try to figure out where I got lost. That might mean asking yourself some honest questions about what’s going right in your life and what’s not working so well. Your job. Your relationships. Your health. 

Look for direction. And information. Think about who you might reach out to. It might mean talking to your doctor about how your HIV is being managed with an eye toward a refresh to get you moving forward. It might be time to consult some other resources. Having a few conversations with people who can help. Information is power. 

Get emotional support. Don’t sit with all those feelings. Talk with a trusted listening ear and talk about what’s going on. Vent if you need to. Getting those emotions out will help to clear your mind so that you can look at your situation from a more objective viewpoint. And the person you talk with may offer a perspective you hadn’t considered. 

Keep in mind: If that lost feeling doesn’t seem to want to go away, it may be time to have a talk with a mental health professional. Don’t go through this alone. 

Feeling lost? Think of yourself as running into an unexpected detour. Stay confident in your ability to find your way back.      





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Gary McClain