The Talk: Beyond the exam room

Starting HIV treatment can be overwhelming, especially when you’re sitting across from a doctor, unsure of what to say. In Plus’ The Talk, individuals living with HIV open up about their first conversations with health care providers, offering real-world advice, reassurance and honesty. From must-ask questions to knowing your boundaries, The Talk is a guide to feeling seen, heard and empowered from the very first appointment.

For Ian Bicko, Executive Director of Project Lazarus, self-advocacy is key to overcoming the obstacles of the healthcare system.

“It is important to advocate for yourself, whether it’s finding a forum online, finding local resources online,” Bicko emphasizes.

While the public health system could be underfunded and frustrating, Bicko remains optimistic, noting, “There are a lot of really wonderful and beautiful people working in it that really care.”

Bicko encourages individuals to take control of their care and seek out the resources that will help them navigate the system, even when it feels daunting.

Tatania Riley, an entrepreneur and advocate, echoes the importance of self-empowerment in one's HIV care journey.

“At the end of the day, your voice matters to you,” Riley asserts.

Riley stresses that if patients feel unheard or dismissed by a healthcare provider, they have every right to seek someone else.

“You have the right to change.” Riley adds. “You have the right to want to be able to communicate with someone that you feel comfortable with.”

Riley reminds patients that they should never feel powerless in their own care, and that finding a provider who listens and values them is essential to the process.

Danny Ochoa, a community-based prevention worker, offers insight into the importance of support systems.

“It’s important to educate yourself, try to find that support,” Ochoa advises.

According to Ochoa, building a network of support — whether through community resources or personal connections — is crucial in the early stages of HIV treatment. Having people who can provide encouragement and guidance makes the process feel less isolating and helps individuals feel empowered in managing their health.

Elena Linas, a public health specialist, emphasizes that the provider-patient relationship is foundational to successful care. She advises individuals to trust their instincts when it comes to choosing a doctor.

“People in the HIV world are super caring, very loving, and you will always find people who really care about you,” Linas affirms, highlighting that compassionate care is available if you seek it.

Ultimately, HIV care is not just about the medication; it’s about self-advocacy, finding a supportive community, and ensuring that your healthcare providers treat you with respect and empathy.

“Community is the most important piece here,” Bicko says, reflecting on overcoming the internalized stigma that can often prevent individuals from engaging with their care or seeing the future with hope.

Bicko explains that being part of a supportive network helps patients avoid the feeling of isolation, which can empower them to take their medication and stay engaged in their treatment plan.

“You’re not feeding into the internalized stigma that prevents you from either enrolling in care or finding worth in taking your medication or seeing the future,” Bicko concludes. “There’s a big, beautiful, long, healthy life to live.”